So I happened to be between projects conveniently when Pretty Little Liars was taking a hiatus, so I decided to finally see what all the fuss was about and marathoned the last 3.5 seasons. Not only have I grown an achingly intense obsession with the show (and Caleb), but I’ve also learned a lot too. Like . . .
1. Wet look metallic pants are actually daywear.
2. You can tell someone’s in juvie if they’re wearing a do-rag.
3. There exists a universe where hot doctors with English accents can’t get no love from the ladies.
4. Someone trying to drown you is a totally forgivable offence.
5. Teens these days clear their text history on a minutely basis. (Think about it. Have you ever seen a prior text on the girls’ screens?)
6. There are still some good roles for parrots in television these days.
7. All small business owners are creepy and to be avoided.
8. Larisa Oleynik didn’t actually fall off the face of the earth after 1999.
9. I need to enroll in martial arts class. You know, for self-defence. And stuff.
10. Just because your best friend was killed, you’re being framed for a murder you didn’t commit, and your illicit relationship with your teacher might get revealed at any moment doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dress like you’re going to party.
11. Gunshot wounds take just a day or so to heal. Ditto for broken legs.
12. Everyone in Rosewood leaves their blinds open at night. Especially if they’re being stalked and harassed.
13. On that note, being stalked and harassed? No reason not to stay home alone on occasion. I mean, what could go wrong?
14. You might think that playing the piano and texting with a touchscreen phone would be tricky while wearing bulky leather gloves, but that’s where you would be wrong.
15. Evil deeds can only be preformed in a black hoodie (hood up). Barring that, a red coat works.
The new episode of Pretty Little Liars airs Tuesday October 22nd at 8 p.m. EST on ABC. As if you didn’t know that already.